Maybe you have felt as if you must be satisfied with Mr. He’ll-Do-For-Now? Would you be able to know if you were indeed settling? Have your pals said that you are too picky? Are you currently fearful which you may have to give up your dreams since your biological clock is ticking and you are not having enough options?
As you become older you will see that you’re dating more infrequently. Don’t panic! This really is totally natural. You may be already conscious that your tolerance for several people, places and things has drastically changed within the last several years. Consider your likes in food and wine. Even which has changed. Your palette continues to be refined. You seek out quality instead of quantity. Your time is valuable so that your choices have to be made carefully.
The same thing goes for your choices in males. It isn’t your age that is holding you back, it’s your experience – for better or worse.
Some women have created their wish lists or vision boards. Now, I’m not against this. I just think that life comes about when you’re busy making plans therefore it is smart to be flexible. The worst thing that you can do for yourself is look through GQ Magazine and paste the image of the ideal guy to the board that hangs in your wall. Remember when you used paper dolls as a child? They were fun but two-dimensional cut-outs because that was all we’re able to handle in those days. We weren’t fully developed. Our young brains could only connect with pictures and pictures.
The problem with creating “love life” lists is: They’ve created a stagnant two-dimensional picture of your future also it locks you in. Some women have already decided who they will marry and what their life may be like. They MUST end up with that tall, gorgeous, light-eyed dream guy using their fantasy list/dream board. He’ll possess a full head of hair, and be a titan of industry in certain cool, creative field. They’ll purchase a waterfront country home, and they’ll spend half their time in the town, with their 2 children as well as their adorable dog (boy: Jackson; girl: Chase. Jack Russell: Pete).
Here’s the catch. If these women don’t find their 6′ 3″, blue-eyed dark-haired out of this world titan, do they be satisfied with less? Do they give up the dream? Yes and no. To begin with, let’s define the term SETTLE. Could it be settling to develop up and realize that some of the people things just aren’t as important to you because they was previously?
Is it settling to with Hank, the not-so-gorgeous semi-balding guy who works in finance, but makes the skin tingle and your heart melt? Sure he’s allergic to terriers, hates residing in the city, but he’s a heart of gold, treats you like a queen, shares your values and goals, makes you laugh and loves your mother. (And you’ve got amazing chemistry.)
Settling? I think not.
Settling is abandoning your goals, values and choosing a guy that does not treat you well or isn’t concerned about your physical and emotional well-being. Settling is selecting a man out of fear because you’re so afraid something better doesn’t exist because you’re approaching 35 or 40 and Mr. Prince Charming hasn’t arrived yet. Settling is forgetting your need for great sex and passion with your partner because you think you need to go without in order to find a stable man.
Rubbish!!
Take a good long look inside and get yourself if you have just a little girl fantasy list that is holding you back.
Have a risk. Prefer to get open-minded. You can never be charged with being “too picky” if your heart and mind are aligned.
Be smart, be open, be vulnerable, be truthful on your own and make your alternatives in the abundant and willing a part of your heart. Take everything superficial from the list and concentrate on which is essential to some lasting and healthy relationship. Forget about the arbitrary limitations of the dream board and open yourself up to the three-dimensional adventure of life. Should you choose, you will get more than you ever might have imagined.